My daughter Jadelyn Marie would have been seven years old today. Her name comes from Jade + Lynn. Jade, a precious jewel and my favorite color green. Lynn means "waterfall"--which I absolutely love. I had the name Jaden picked out to name my first daughter since I was in eigth grade. I added the "lyn" part when so many people were naming boys Jaden.
She was mine and Phil's first baby together. I went to the hospital five days after her due date, believing I was in labor. When the ulrasound tech found no heartbeat, the world dropped from underneath us. The doctor induced labor and I waited until it was time to deliver my daughter naturally, who had already gone to heaven to be with God and Uncle Vinnie. She was 7 pounds, 7 ounces, 21" long with dark hair and she looked just like my baby picture. Instead of going home with our baby girl, we went home with a keepsake box with her footprints, blanket and lock of hair. Instead of sending out birth announcements we planned a funeral.
How do I make it through this day? I know I will probably stop at the cemetary on the way home from work to bring flowers and maybe a balloon. Cards from family and friends, phone calls and emails to say they are thinking of us. Knowing I am making a small difference in the care children receive at AR Children's Hospital through the donation I make each month as a partner in hope, so that another parent doesn't have to go through this. Receiving a card in the mail telling me my inlaws have made a donation on her birthday each year. Finding dimes, sometimes in pairs, so I know she is safe with her Uncle Vinnie. I hope he helps her blow all seven candles out on her heavenly birthday cake.
Tonight I am taking Oksana and the boys to Hannah's birthday party for a swim party at the rec. center. Oksana met Hannah on her softball team this year and they became fast friends. Phil and I love her parents Lisa and Bob and they have a little boy, Colby, that is Nico's age and his new buddy. I've never had to deal with celebrating someone else's birthday on this day. Part of me would do anything to avoid it, but Hannah and her family are very specail people, so I know I'll be there. I like to think Jadelyn sent them to us.
I still can't believe it has been seven years. It seems so long ago, yet she is always on my mind and in my heart.
We love you Jadelyn. Happy Birthday baby girl.
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